if only she knew [01.08.08]

shes a shell of a strong woman.
yet on da inside shes empty.
so she fills herself wit their esteem
&& lets dem simply f e e l her up.
her soul is deep...
yet misguided.
beautiful woman indeed.
but beauty only runs skin deep.
permanently stained by her past...
dats y shes so reckless in da present.
she wants a betta future but she duznt know how 2 obtain it.
if only she knew...
dat she holds da keys 2 all da chains && locks dat bind her.
if only she knew...
she wud b free nd cud have da world in da palm of her hands.
if only...
she knew.

1st post

i use 2 write bc i really didnt speak my mind.
i covered my thoughts like an electric blanket on a chicago winter day.
i thought dat nobody really cared what was on my mind.
i thought dat nobody felt like i felt.
i thought dat nobody cud understand my feelings && emotions.
when i use 2 talk it just seemed like da words didnt cum out right.
my point never got across.
writing just made everything so much easier.

&& den...
i stopped writing.
i began 2 say exactly how i felt.
my words became clearer.
i was able 2 elaborate && explain.
now u cant use sumthin i wrote against me bc u didnt interpet it da way i meant 4 it 2 be read.
now u cant draw ur own conclusions.
now u can take what i say && leave it @ dat bc dats just what it is.

but now...
i wanna write again.
my speakerbox isnt echoing like it use 2.
me sayin sumthin is never enuff.
im a better writer den i am a talker.
my mind is just sooo full of everything.

...i think its time 4 a release.